Nicole's Blog

The Calm Before The Storm

The calm before the storm! What happened about 5 seconds after was not as pretty of a picture. Grayson threw everything on the floor & started hitting me. I’m sure most moms & dads can relate to having to leave an event with their children because of a meltdown/not being able to console them. When our lil ones are frustrated or out of sorts it’s much easier for us as adults to “correct” than take the time & patience to “connect”. All children really want is connection. I often ask Grayson to tell me what he needs or to talk to me instead of hitting or throwing toys. This weekend this method did not work. 🤦🏻‍♀️ It takes YEARS for children to develop self-control & learn how to express their emotions in healthier ways. Heck, most adults struggle in these areas, too! We first learn how to cope with our emotions during our infant & toddler years, the early childhood years are truly of utmost importance, especially for us parents in setting these examples. Ages 0-6 effect the next 80 years. That’s not my opinion it’s a scientific fact. Children need our help in coping with their emotions so they are better equipped to handle future problems. There are lots of options (time outs, giving consequences, leaving a play date/event, etc.) when it comes to this topic. For many parents those options have worked, some have worked for us, too. I practice #gentleparenting or #attachmentparenting, so some options I choose not to do or try my best to avoid for various personal reasons.
*️⃣New options I’m looking at are calming jars (when away from home) & a Quiet Cave/Happy Place.
▶️Have any moms or dads tried these options?
Parenting continues to teach me patience along with healthier ways to communicate with my son and in turn teach him how to effectively communicate his feelings. I’m often adjusting things on my end which has worked well in most situations & resolved the issue. By “adjusting things on my end” I mean I’m personally making changes to better meet Grayson’s needs, not an easy task for most. I’m in no way saying I’m the perfect parent or that I expect to have a perfect child. I’ve had to put myself in a timeout a few times. 🙋🏻I can’t control his emotions but I can control mine so I have at times walked away to compose myself. #truth This actually works very well for us (at home). When you know better you do better & in my upbringing (as for most people) I was not taught to be emotionally fit/express my emotions. It’s not something we learn in school. We learn this at home if we are lucky (I didn’t). I’ve read parenting books & had many years of counseling which all have helped teach me. It’s definitely 1 priority I have in raising Grayson…learning to be in tune with his needs/personality, listening to him/asking him to express his feelings & teaching him how to be emotionally fit by working with him instead of against him. Talk about a workout!

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